Edited

I never doubted the friendship that we had. Never.

Never had a chance that I did not trust you. Never had a chance that I madeΒ  things complicated between us.

It so damn hurts now how things went…went wrong. How situations turned complicated between us…all of us.

I never expected things will turn out unwell. I did my best to rescue both of us but I think the power of one was not enough. And I am not a hero, anyway.

I’m no quitter untiI now. I give up.

Good luck and God bless.

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Just as I Write This

Hmmmm.

Hmmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmmm.

I just got here for the first time this year. Haha! Medyo naisip ko sanang magsulat for my 2014’s first blog but I have no idea what to write about, topic!

Oops. I went home last holiday season, that was my first homecoming after a year. We were complete as my brother also went home. The rain did not really ruin the holidays uh. πŸ™‚ I got the hoodie jacket below ↓ from my sister. Oh yeah, I really love it!

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I wish I could go home not only once this year, not only for the holiday season. πŸ™‚

After the season break, of course, I’m back to the real world same as most of you.

New year new movies to watch out for, and I’ve got to watch three of them just this month. First was 10,000 Hours which was the Best in Cinematography and received other 13 awards from the MMFF 2013. Second, Lone Survivor starring Mark Wahlberg. This movie tells a true story on how soldiers fight every mission they face. In the end they flashed the pictures of the real soldiers the actors portrayed and that made me weep. :’) Third, Leonardo DiCaprio’s three-hour The Wolf of Wall Street movie. As I quote a friend, this is a movie where we find “pinakamaraming fuck at fucking.” Also, I can say that it is not dragging for a three-hour film per se. I’m loving Leo more! Let’s wait for the Oscar’s! πŸ™‚

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I’d hangout more in my “new found” and “favorite” movie house for this year’s upcoming movies. I’ve got a shopping buddy there also. Haha! (you know who you are)

By the way, do you also feel the cold breeze outside? It’s really cold like, brrrrrrr! Last time I checked, I would boil water in order to take a bath. Lameeeeg. But I’m loving the weather, though hintayin na lang din natin summer. Speaking of summer, I’m so excited for our trip to CDO on March! Fun! Fun! Fun!

Pasensya magulo yata pagkakasulat ko but I’ll try to write more this year. Aayusin ko na next time. Hehe.

xxx

Oh Yolanda!

Hindi ako masyado nakapanood ng balita noong kasagsagan ng bagyong Yolanda dahil sa mga shoot para sa aking istorya programa. Pero dahil nabasa ko naman bawat balita, alam kong napakalas ng bagyong ito. Medyo lumuwag ang aking pakiramdam ng malaman kong hindi ito masyado tumama sa Bicol dahil naroon ang aking pamilya.

Pero ngayong pinapanood ko bawat news file at report noong humahagupit ito, napapaiyak ako sa mga nakikita ko. Ang saklap, sukdulan ang hagupit ni Yolanda…para bang psycho na nagwawala sa daan at sasaksakin lahat ng masasapitan. Hindi lang iyak dahil sa awa sa mga kababayan nating lubhang nasalanta ang aking nararamdaman kundi iyak ng paghahangad na sana sa munting paraan ay madamayan ko sila sa paghihinagpis.

Nakakakilabot ang pigura ng bilang ng mga bangkay na lumalabas sa mga social networking sites. Maiintindihang dahil sa mga communication malfunction na dulot pa rin ni Yolanda, ay mahirap maabot at matanto ang katotohanan sa likod nito. Pero isa ang maliwanag… hindi lang mga puno at imprastraktura ang nasalanta kundi maraming kababayan natin ang binawian ng buhay dahil sa lupit ni Yolanda. Mahirap man tanggapin pero ito’y katotohanan. Base na rin sa napanood kong mga actual video noong kasagsagan ng pagtama ni Yolanda sa Kabisayaan, lubhang nakapanlulumo ang hitsura ng bawat lugar pagkatapos mangwasiwas ng hangin ni Yolanda.

Masakit sa kalooban makakita ng mga ganitong sitwasyon, mas lalo na siguro marahil iyong mga taong nandoon mismo sa lugar na hinagupit ng bagyo. Sa ngayon, mga sirang bahay, mga pinalipad na kotse, mga nabunot at nabaling mga puno at mga walang kalaban-labang mga bangkay ang sa kabi-kabilang parte ng mga lugar sa malaking bahagi ng Leyte, Samar at iba pang lugar sa Visayas ang nabibilang sa mga nabiktima ni Yolanda.

Tulad ng iba, ako’y nananalangin para sa kabutihan at kapakanan ng ating mga kababayang nabiktima ni Yolanda. Higit kong hinihiling ang pagraos sa dilubyong ating naranasan. Para saan ba’t tayo’y naging Pinoy hindi ba? Pero higit sa lahat ako’y nagsusumamo na, marahil katulad ng ilan diyan, sana magkaroon na rin ako, ang aking pamilya, ng balita sa aking tiyuhin at pinsan kasama na ng kaniyang pamilya na taga Tacloban at Palo, Leyte.

xxx

Second Chance

In just two weeks, many things happened.

Heart-breaking discoveries. I have to accept it.

Unacceptable reasons. I have to accept it.

Unreasonable excuses. I have to accept it.

Unwanted confrontations. I have to accept it.

I have to own it!

I have to accept these because we all deserve a SECOND CHANCE.

Own June!

#june12th Today is a D-day. But I won’t let this, I will prove to myself and to them that I deserve what I have now and where I am now. Maybe I’ve been coward and I was wrong being one.

Independence. I’ve learned how to be independent, I also learned from the mistakes I’ve done from being independent. Now, I learn again from another mistake, a mistake that I will never do again.

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I own June! I claim it!